They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
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