I think im going to throw up on grandma
my shit smells like andre
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
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