I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Randomize
