I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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