I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
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