I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
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