I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
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Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
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I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
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