did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
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sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
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I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
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