a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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