Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize