Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize