Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
