I want to stick my p in your. b.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
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I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
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I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I'm like the big dick whisperer.