why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize