idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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