morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize