the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?