i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
you made out with another girl for some wings
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.