Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
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I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
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I just got carded by a ten year old.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus