So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
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