i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize