Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
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remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
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if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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