4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize
