allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize