I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
