im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
