Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
