The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
