Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Sext me about skeletons
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
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