but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
