Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
25 Porn Addicts Admit Their Biggest Pet Peeves
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.