fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
You took a bar mat shot.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?