just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?