week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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