somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
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