i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
