he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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