I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Randomize
