apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
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its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
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im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
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