He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize