JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize