piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
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