Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Randomize