He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
