Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
We have so much sex to catch up on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize