mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
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I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
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