I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize