You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
What drink are we having for lunch?
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
