i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
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i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
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whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
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