my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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