The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
21 Dirty Secrets From Bachelor/Bachelorette Parties That Have Destroyed Marriages
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I just had sex on a roof
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.