Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war