consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
