He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
only you would photoshop your dick
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Randomize