I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
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